Coping with my bereavment
Tricia Lee
In the Autumn of 2004 my husband, Nigel Lee, wrote an article in [the Myton Church] Newsletter with reference to an operation he had just had. After a reoccurrence of his cancer and intensive chemotherapy Nigel died at the end of March 2006.
A recurrent phrase that work colleagues said to me during that time was “you’ll be all right, you have your faith” or “aren’t you glad you’ve got a faith?” And yes, in the middle of all the pain, the loss, the loneliness, there was very solid evidence of God being faithful, near, caring and never-changing. But the one thing I wanted to say to my colleagues was that this kind of relationship with God is available to them, to everyone who turns to Him.
The big, often asked questions, of “why us?” or “why him?” never were a problem. Nigel would say “why not me?”. We do strongly believe God gives life and He takes it in His own timing, and all the family believe that one day we will be together with God for eternity. So, with that perspective, this life is very temporary.
Nigel spent the last month of his life in Myton Hospice, where he had excellent care. It was such a relief to be in a place where his pain was understood and relieved. It was hard to see him suffer the indignities of this disease and I so appreciated being able to give a great deal of ‘hands on’ care.
I miss him every day though, and often catch myself remembering things to tell him when I get home. We had nearly 34 years of marriage and have three wonderful, grown-up kids.
Seven months on, a house move, two new grandchildren (our first born five days after Nigel's death) and our son’s wedding, I just wanted to write and say God is faithful and true and completely trustworthy.
Nigel Lee, who was at the time a leader of Myton Church, died on 30 March 2006.
This article was first published in the December 2006 issue of Myton Church Newsletter. If you would like to discuss this article with someone from Myton Church, please contact us.